I’m so confused. The longevity of that dream, it seemed like a lifetime. You, Me, Him… My friends and the endeavors we shared.

I often fantasize about an idealistic world, but this is a debacle. My own mental Holocaust.

As I climb up the mountain, looking for a place to live in seclusion. A place to escape your memory, to escape myself. A place where I could start over. I never found such a place… Only more memories, more problems… more agony. I thought this was a dream? It feels more like an entity, forcing me into self torment.

I venture to the ocean, maybe I could set sail for another country. Or just live as a sailor, and only return to the mainland when I’m in need of supplies. When I arrive, the ocean is dried up. The Ocean! Is there no escape?

Oh, glorious deceiver. I finally see what my mind has been trying to show me.

Its her…

-SoundsLikeACity

-SoundsLikeACity

There are rocks and abysses in the mind.

As well as meadows.

There are things knotty and hard: intractable.

Do not talk to me of love and understanding.

I am sick of blandishments.

I want the rock to be met by a rock.

If I am vile, and behave hideously,

Do not tell me it was just a misunderstanding.

Do not tell me.

It is with this sorrow in my mind That my eyes shall forever gaze upon the sky, Knowing this truth more than myself, That this regret shall not prevail.

But your memory still gives me strength.

Don’t be disheartened. Your journey does not end here. My eyes forever towards the sky, Your journey does not end here.

I’m back.

I’ve almost crashed my car.

Reunited with an ex I had fully convinced myself I was over, apparently I was wrong.

Found out the cops are looking for me.

And I almost went to jail.

Fuck yeah, life is getting interesting.